


tall tales

by straddling_the_atmosphere



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Memory Alteration, Warning: Trent Ikithon, an excerpt of a broad au that me and one other person have the details for, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 07:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23347411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straddling_the_atmosphere/pseuds/straddling_the_atmosphere
Summary: After leaving the Assembly, Bren chooses a new name.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 7
Kudos: 75





	tall tales

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maricolous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maricolous/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZOE!!! THANKS FOR EXPLAINING CRITICAL ROLE TO ME BC I STILL HAVEN'T WATCHED A SINGLE FULL EPISODE BUT I GOT INTERESTED BC OF THE DARK ELF AND THE FIRE WIZARD BEING NARRATIVE FOILS
> 
> well this is part of an elaborate au which zoe and i made up where bren/caleb DOESN'T snap when he kills his parents and becomes trent's annex and ALSO the liaison between the assembly and essek when essek gives them the beacon in exchange for research information, except that essek finds bren/caleb too talented to simply be used for killing and espionage and caleb finds himself like. ridiculously attracted to essek, long story short they fall in love and trent tries to modify caleb's memory into killing essek except that caleb breaks free of it bc he loves essek too much and essek and him decide to steal one of the beacons BACK so that caleb can give it to the bright queen and pretend to be a scourger who'd broken free and defected. 
> 
> anyway we call it neutral evil bfs au

"I don't want to keep the name," he says and Essek looks at him, quiet. He's always quiet now, moving around him like he might go for a dagger, put it at his throat like he did before. To his credit, Essek doesn't remove any sharp thing from within his vicinity. A sign of trust, he knows.

"What do you want to be called?" Essek finally asks, fingers twitching like he wants to reach out, like he _would've_ reached out before, before he'd pressed Essek against the wall and his head had been filled with overlain memories, of Essek planning to kill him, to betray the Assembly, wrong memories, and he still can't get the way Essek flinched from him out of his head. He wishes Essek would touch him again.

"I don't know." He can't be _Bren_ anymore. He can't be the boy who killed his parents, who locked the door to the house and burned it down with them inside, who was filled with a blind, ecstatic euphoria of having done _well,_ having rid the Empire of treasonous thought. His mouth feels dry. More wrong memories, sifted through his destroyed mind when Essek had broken the cord that tethered him to Trent, and he remembers dropping the knife, falling to his knees. He remembers Essek wrapping his arms around him as he'd shuddered against him. 

"You were a spy," Essek murmurs, a small smile on his lips. "A good one. Surely you had names."

"Ja," he admits, sighing. "But those weren't mine." Essek reaches out to him this time, hesitant, and he hates that hesitation, leans forward so that Essek cups the curve of his jaw, feels the drow's fingers rub the stubble on his cheek. 

"It is up to you," Essek says, voice low and warm, and he makes a soft sound. 

"It is an Empire name, my--the one I have now." 

Essek nods and watches him, and he can't help but reach up to trace the silver of his eyebrows, pleased when Essek doesn't flinch from him, instead sighing into the touch. They stay like that, pressed together, the only sound being their slow breaths.

"Have you heard any Empire tales?" he asks after a moment and Essek just hums in response.

"None that aren't filled with inaccuracies, I would assume."

He huffs, tucking a strand of Essek's hair behind his ear and then tracing the point of it with his finger. Essek shivers and swats his hand away.

"A long time ago, long before I was born, during the reign of Emperor Dwendal, there was a long and bloody war."

Essek watches him, the deep violet of his eyes alert and curious. 

"But this story isn't about that war. It is about after. There was a rebellion," he says softly. "Bloody and violent, led by priests of various religions. Religion is not...it is strange, in the Empire. Looked down upon. This...worship of the Luxon, of the Beacons, wouldn't be done back there."

Essek huffs softly in response but is otherwise quiet. His ears twitch, and he can't help but smile at that. So expressive, those ears.

"Anyway, during the rebellion, there were a group of, ah, I suppose they would be called spies, led by priests, charged with infiltration, with killing the emperor. It did not work. Obviously. The area was conquered and now we are only allowed to worship specific gods, but..." He shrugs.

"I'm surprised you know the story," Essek says.

"Ja, well, they did their best to cover it up, but people always talk, and I was once a spy. It was my job to listen." He runs a thumb along the curve of Essek's jaw and Essek leans into the touch, an instinctive movement that makes him feel warm.

"The name of one of the spies was Caleb," he says. "I think I would like to take it."

"Caleb," Essek says, testing it out. Caleb finds that he likes how Essek says it. "I like it."

Caleb smiles, finally reaching out to cup his face. Essek's cheekbones are smooth under his thumbs, and his eyes slide half shut. He remembers the wild fear, the betrayal in those eyes when he'd pulled out his knife, when he'd pressed it under that jaw. The wild way Essek's pulse had jumped under his hand. Now, it's calm, and he almost looks drowsy, his ears drooping in that delightfully endearing way of his. There are good memories, under the confused ones. Meeting Essek for the first time, an assignment, and being caught by the intensity of eyes, the breadth of his intelligence. 

The first spell Essek taught him, when he wanted to see his talent. The way he'd said, low and disappointed, that Trent wasn't using him to his full advantage. "And you would?" he'd said back, breath catching in his throat, and the scorching way Essek had looked at him, hotter than the fire always at his fingertips. That he was much more talented than simple spy and wetwork, and Caleb craved that more than anything. He craved the praise and the _knowledge,_ and soon enough, he became to crave Essek as well. 

It's still there, that intensity, hidden underneath the sleepy repose of Essek's limbs, pressed close to Caleb.

"Well," Essek says, opening his eyes again. He reaches up and curls his fingers around Caleb's wrists. "Welcome to your new home, Caleb."

Caleb feels his mouth curve into a grin and he tugs Essek close, until Essek closes the gap and kisses him. There's a Beacon back with the Bright Queen, and they are two traitors keeping each other's secrets, and Caleb has never felt safer in his life. Welcome home, indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> did u guys know if you look up widogast in behind the name dot com, there's a whole section that just is called "critical role name meanings." i didnt even get to widogast here but i did look it up
> 
> also did base that empire story on one from the bible, where a group of spies was sent by moses into canaan. one of them was named caleb! 
> 
> anyway, have a lovely and happy birthday zoe! i hope this helps make a pandemic bday a little better!


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